You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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