I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
