i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
