Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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