i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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