Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
