Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
