I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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