I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
