i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
