I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize