how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
