tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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