I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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