he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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