do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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