So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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