She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
