I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize