i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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