Midget sex pt 2 tonight
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I am available for nakedness
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
