It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
