I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
So squirting runs in the family.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
