I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize