My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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