Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
