the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize