she smelled like a LAN party
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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