u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
