You can't special order awesome
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize