windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Text me some of your sweat
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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