He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
There r osticjed everywhere
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
