Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
