Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
