I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Randomize
