I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize