Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
