i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize