I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
