i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
