so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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