I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
