How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
