Me too!
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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