those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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