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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.

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• (914): View more from New York

  It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  When did angry sex become our thing?

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• (915): View more from Texas

  Just kidding.  Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team

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• (226): View more from Ontario

  Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..

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• (954): View more from Florida

  This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend

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