ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
