For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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