a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
