why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
