I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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