I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
When did angry sex become our thing?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
