Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
