her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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