tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
