Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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