it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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