I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
