My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
