I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
