Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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