The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
