so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
