I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
