Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
